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Agent 1-4-9's avatar

Silverback here, I guess. I'm 61 but I don't feel that old. Mentally, I'm the same person I've always been, just wiser from a lot of bad decisions; really, really, bad decisions. The only thing I ever did right was marry a good woman and raise 11 children (9 of them boys) with her.

Here's a few things I've learned about raising boys into men.

Boys need boundaries. Why? So that they can fight against them. No one can call himself a man if he's never been in a fight, any kind of fight, and both won and lost battles. Anyone who would mentor boys must also be man enough to admit when his charge has won a battle against him, and not gloat when he loses.

Boys need purpose. A man is one who has become his purpose. Not "all work and no play". Purpose must be set aside at times, but it can't be allowed to rust and tatter. But setting it aside for a time allows for adventure and discovery. Serendipity will provide, during these adventurous times, new tools to be used for purpose when it is picked back up. Boys will cycle through many purposes. Encourage them all, but don't force them to choose. A man's purpose must chosen by himself.

Boys need examples, not lectures. A picture paints a thousand words, and you are the living, breathing, moving picture boys see.

Boys need to be the heroes of their story, not helpless victims of circumstance. Early, they must be helped to overcome; not allowed to be totally vanquished, but not coddled and shielded either. As they grow, your help to them must be minimized to only the duties of your actual role, not a single part of theirs. You can toss them the sword, but they must slay the dragon. You can't be a hero if someone else does it for you.

Boys WILL learn that they have the power and ability to bend reality to their will, to serve their ends. Pursue good ends yourself, and shun bad ones, and they will do likewise.

Hey, this is becoming a text wall, I'll end now. Love your stuff, keep up the good work.

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

Damn but that's awesome! I remember ranting about the French Empire and Rome, and this one kid broke down after class as he's illiterate so I took him aside to teach him to get over his written-dyslexia. Turned out the kid hunted, boxed, knew Norse mythology (he could read just not write for some reason), he knew Dumas, Hugo and even I think Aeneas. He also knew DBZ and everything else that's cool.

Damn but your story about Ezequiel reminded me of that Phisto. This is the single coolest essay you've ever written.

Kids are awesome, and young people rock. I used to detest them but since about a year ago, I've come to adore them and just love passing along all knowledge and watching them just master it ten times faster than I did at their age.

tldr; you the man Phisto, damn but I love posts like this. Please give us another like it soon!

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